Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Goals and Ambitions

I have been thinking lately about goals (and not just because it's prompt #6 for the class). I mentioned my to-do list last week - goals for the day. I haven't made a list in several days because I felt so defeated by them each day. Even marking things off wasn't helping.

That's weird, too, because usually crossing things off your list is a sign of accomplishment. I remember in college one semester I had to take a bunch of incompletes (I didn't finish the classes until after the next term started). I had a major life event, and couldn't concentrate, and ended up only finishing one class. So when the next semester started, I had not only my full load of classes for the semester, but a near full load to finish from the previous semester. The only way I made it through was to break each task into tiny bits and write down every step I had to do. My to-do list was four or five pages long. And I got it all done. (My advice is to NOT take that many incompletes, though, no matter what you have to do.)

I have so many things I need and want to accomplish and I have a hard time remembering that I don't have to live my whole life right this minute. Does that make sense? I start thinking, "I have this goal and I haven't done it yet and I'm already in my mid-thirties!"

Um, yeah. I'm in my mid-thirties. That's really not that old. But since I've lost close friends who never made it to thirty, I still feel this sense of urgency at times.

My current goals are:
  1. finish cleaning my house for a visit with Heather this weekend (yes, that Heather)
  2. finish the dozen or more unfinished scrapbooks and quilts and various sewing projects I have in my craft room
  3. have scheduled daily craft time with Abigail
  4. exercise
  5. finish layouts for the Yesterday + Today class so I can post them
  6. learn how to use a unique blog template that has some Fun Mama personality
  7. Write. Seriously write. It's time.
Well, my house needs to be ready for my friend and her two toddlers by Thursday evening. My house is toddler friendly for my child, but you know how you're never sure if other people will be ok with your house? Seriously, Heather used to help me clean my room. You'd think I'd know better. . .

I can't decide if I want to finish Abigail's first year album, our St. Augustine album, our honeymoon album, my 30th birthday album, a quilt I started ten years ago, or scrap all of that and start on Christmas presents. As if I'll finish anything I start in the middle of November. Maybe I should finish some Christmas presents from last year?

I know I talk a lot about doing stuff with your kids, and we do. We do play dough. We draw. We play with blocks. We paint. We do a lot. But it feels haphazard and I'd really like to be able to tell her "This is what we're doing today." I'm considering doing it as an advent calendar this year. I really want to have a craft calendar in place by January, at least.

Exercise. Bleh. I do feel better when I exercise, but then I feel like I should be doing something else. I started reading The Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kidd as my exercise bike book (only allowed to read it there) but that's not working. I recorded a bunch of Ellen shows on my tivo so I can watch them while I'm biking. I used to watch Angel or The X-files while I biked because they kept me tense and involved (and made me forget it was painful) but they are SO not appropriate for a two year old. I guess I'd better get some walks in before the weather turns.

My Yesterday + Today layouts are actually going fairly well. I have pictures printed for two of them (we're on week 6), and the journaling done for one. Actually, one page is almost completely done. One problem I'm having is that I haven't scanned as many of my childhood photos as I really need, and another problem is that I really want to use the digital elements and can't figure them out. I keep forgetting to ask my husband to remind me how to unzip files. How basic is that?

One thing I'm hoping to pick up from Blogging for Scrapbookers is how to make my blog look more like Fun Mama and less like a basic blogger template. I see so many cool photos in banners and I have NO idea how to do that. I hope to pick that up soon.

And as for writing. . .All I've ever really wanted to do is write. So I've been an archivist, a tour guide, an event planner, a paper pusher, a mail deliverer (don't ask), a staffing specialist and a mommy. Ok, so all I ever really wanted to do was write and be a mommy. For a year I wrote a column for an online scrapbooking magazine and I really enjoyed it, but I didn't go anywhere with it. I'm not sure that now is the right time, because I am being a mommy all day long. I love it, but I can't help but think that when I'm home and she's at this magic age might be the best time for me to focus on writing. I'm not sure how I'll work it out, but I am committing to it publicly. Wish me luck.


Anonymous said...

This is easier said than done, but try to look at the things you have accomplished (carrying two full loads at college and getting it all done!-being a a great mom to a beautiful child!) instead of beating yourself up for what you haven't completed. Our lives get busier with kids and adult commitments, and I think that we as women put too much pressure on ourselves to do EVERYTHING! I know I do, but I have to sit back and tell myself that this is what I can do and where I am now, and that is good enough. Bit by bit you will accomplish your goals. Good luck...and maybe we can walk the next 3-Day Breast Cancer walk together...two years from now?
Sarah (a fellow 'Blogging for Scrapbookers' classmate & the Odd Mom Out)

Anonymous said...

oh I do so hope it helps to commit to it publicly i would love to see what you write yor post has just had me smiling and thinking um yes i know how she feels about that best thing to do though is just keep having fun:)

humel said...

I wish you luck :-)

I also wanted to tell you that I haven't yet gotten over my fear of photos in the mirror.... which is why I only use the ones where the camera obscures my face, or I'm totally wrapped up in scarves!

See you in class :-)

Scrapdolly said...

I wish you luck with all of your goals

Genevieve said...

Good luck! I too have (many!) lists of short-term and long-term goals. For me, the most important thing to remember is that I should focus on what I achieve, rather than what I never manage to cross off. It's far too easy to do the reverse!

Deb @ PaperTurtle said...

Hi Deanna. Thanks for the nice comment you left on my blog. :o) Congrats on keeping up with the prompts for Shimelle's class. I haven't been able to keep up as well, but I'm learning a LOT from the daily emails.

Good luck with your goals!

Karen said...

Good luck with your goals and thank you for visiting my blog xxx

Anonymous said...

Hello Deanna! Your list of goals makes me feel quite breathless! Number 2 looks as if it could be split into several smaller ones.I do hope you have a lovely time with your friend and thank you for all the lovely comments you've made on my blog.

Krista Lund said...

Hi Deanna!
Thank you for your sweet words on my Blog :)
I am a classmate of yours (Blogging for Scrapbookers) and unfortunately for me, I have been a BAD student! I am so happy we have access to the Class/Forum forever! I plan to get caught up soon! Hopefully before her Days of Christmas Class! This will be my 3rd year.

Tammy said...

Thanks for commenting on my blog. No fear about the Harry Potter books. Those (all of them) have already been read. :o)